In 2009, I spent weeks talking to my girls group about teen dating violence when Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna. A couple weeks ago a teen mother in Prince George’s County was killed by the father of her child who then took his own life. Last week, I dialogued with adults about the “Chris Brown can beat me anytime” social media responses after Chris’ Grammy Award wins. On yesterday Drake tweeted “A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn’t get jealous when someone has your attention, it’s because someone has hers.” There is not enough time today to give my commentary on any of these and dozens of other encounters and conversations I’ve had around teen dating violence. Today I am just getting to the facts.
Teen dating is physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship which includes stalking. It can occur in person or electronically (social media and texting) and may occur between a current or former dating partner. Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines.
Valentine’s Day is usually a holiday that you love or hate. Remember kindergarten when everyone in class received Valentine’s Day cards and gifts? I received Valentine’s Day gifts from my mother into young adulthood. I have done the same for my daughter (her Valentine’s Day packaged arrived at her dorm last week). For me Valentine’s Day is a day to say I love you in a special way. For many unhappily single people it is an unwelcomed reminder from a society that portrays one as incomplete if they aren’t involved in a romantic relationship that they are alone.
Over the last few years, I’ve heard many arguments about whether there is still a need for Black History Month. The other argument is whether Black History Month creates separatism instead of ethnic pride. We don’t need Black History Month when have a Black family in the White House right? I disagree. I am of the opinion that until the diverse stories of African Americans are interwoven into the fabric of our lives and integrated seamlessly into our school curriculums Black History Month is absolutely relevant. For African American youth in the foster care system who may not have strong family ties or may not know their family at all, learning about the contributions made by people of the same race can be empowering. I dare say it can help them form a sense of identity and self-worth.
In his 2012 State of the Union address, President Obama asked states to consider increasing the minimum age for a student to leave school to 18. How do we keep youth engaged and motivated? Teens are unique and their educational experiences should be unique as well. The cookie cutter approach to education leads to our teens dropping out of school or graduating from high school unprepared for higher education or the workforce. The “old way” of teaching is driving our national education reform efforts.
According to the Alliance for Excellent Education, high school drop outs from the class of 2006-2007 will cost the US more than $329 million in lost wages, taxes, and productivity over their lifetime because those who drop out are more likely to be incarcerated, rely on public programs and social services, and go without health insurance than those who graduate from high school. A college education may not be for everyone but graduation from high school is a MUST.
Resilient – rebounding; recovering readily from adversity; returning to its original form after being stretched or bent
Do you recall your teen years with favor and joy? For many of us adolescence was a challenging time. Acne, raging hormones, peer pressure, and uncertainty plagued many of us. Although we may have had the body of an adult, our teen brains had not fully developed. Our views were shaped by other teens that were just as unsure of where they fit in the world as we were. We were stuck in an unfamiliar place — no longer children but not yet adults.
Stability and positive discipline help teens thrive. Rules and boundaries offer safety and security. Rules and boundaries also show teens that someone cares about their present and their future. The obstacles in adolescence are often magnified for youth who are a part of the foster care system. Think about it. Who do you trust when you are unsure of how long you will live in the place where you are right now? Who can exhibit patience and understanding to help you overcome abuse, abandonment, or apathy? Who do you believe really “has your back” when you have lived in 3 different places in the last year and a half?
I have always been told that there is safety in numbers. Whether taking a late night bus ride, going to a night club or simply taking a tour of a new city the mantra is still the same – it’s safer to be a part of a group. Does this still ring true when we consider the youth in the foster care system in our country? The numbers of children and youth in foster care in the United States has been steadily on the incline. Let’s take a look.
The Foster Care Numbers
According to the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) FY 10 data October 1, 2009 through September 30, 2010, there were 408,425 children in foster care on September 30, 2010. Four hundred eight thousand, four hundred and twenty five children and youth ages 0 to 20 years were in foster care last September. The largest percentage (8%) was age 17.
Where were these children living?
What does “A Teen’s Life Is Worth Documenting” mean to you?
For a child in the foster care system it probably means those words that are written about them in their personal file. You know the file that precedes them at every meeting, placement, and court hearing. The file that attempts to explain the reason they entered foster care, the length of time in the system, the changes in schools, the number of foster placements, health concerns, and any mental health screenings and diagnoses. The file containing this documentation is extremely important right? Essential even?!
I’m not speaking of the file that documents the thoughts and judgments of countless social workers, lawyers, doctors, and educators and barely contains the views of the youth in foster care. The accomplishments, aspirations, and support systems in a teen’s life are worth documenting. Every teen is unique and full of promise and potential. My teens document their lives in a professional portfolio — a visual tool that gives employers, recruiters, scouts, and mentors a complete picture of who you are. I believe that a professional portfolio can be an integral element not only in building skills and confidence in youth but also in helping them develop and maintain crucial personal and professional connections.
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