Bob – Tough But Fair Foster Father

Today we continue our National Foster Care Awareness Month blog series on teen males with the interview of another foster father with KidsPeace.  Bob O’Connor and his wife Coco have been foster parents for 23 years.   They have had short-term placements, long-term placements, and provided therapeutic foster care and respite care.   They have been foster parents to about 10 males.  Currently there are 2 teen males and 3 children under the age of 4 living in the home.  Mikey has been with the family for 10 years.  Mikey will turn 21 and age out of the system at the end of the month.  Mikey’s biological sister aged out of care last year but is still with the O’Connor family.  Both earned IEP diplomas.  Nick is 18 years old and has been with the family for four years.  He is interested in mechanics and will earn an IEP diploma.  Bob knows that life can be tough for youth who age out of the system without support.  He says he has never put anyone out and believes that there is great benefit in New York allowing youth in therapeutic foster care to remain in the system until age 21.

Dyral – Discipline, Expectation, and Foster Fatherhood

Our fifth blog post in our National Foster Care Awareness Month blog series dedicated to teen males in foster care focuses on fatherhood.  Dyral Brown is the single, foster father of two teen males ages 14 and 16.  As a young professional, Dyral realized that he could connect with and have a positive influence on young men.  He became a foster father in 2009 in his home state of North Carolina.  He has fostered five teen males and on occasion has provided respite care for girls.

Dyral is a positive role model with a successful career in criminal justice and mental health.  In many instances, youth are labeled and grouped in the same category.    He describes part of his responsibility to “tear labels off”.  He doesn’t believe that any youth should be written off.  He stresses to his foster sons that they should not look down on themselves and they should use foster as a stepping stone to a brighter future.

Toni – Foster-Adopt Mother, Advocate, and Author

Today we continue our National Foster Care Awareness Month blog series on teen males in foster care by addressing mental health. Toni Hoy and her family have endured separation, loss of parental rights, and criminalization by the system put in place to protect children.  Toni’s son, Daniel, has been placed in the Illinois foster care system twice.  The first placement was as a result of severe neglect as an infant.  At age 13, the Hoy family lost custody of Daniel and he was once again placed in foster care but this time in a residential facility. 

Dorothy – Foster Mom, Youth Advocate, Role Model

Dorothy Cordero has been a foster mother for many years.  I interviewed Dorothy and her foster son, Chris, for The Teen Toolbox National Foster Care Month blog series on teen males in foster care.  Chris has been a part of Dorothy’s family for six years.  There are two other male foster teens living in the home. Dorothy is passionate and compassionate.  She epitomizes motherhood.

When asked about her experience with foster care in her home state of New York, Dorothy said it has been “great so far”.  “I have been able to help kids succeed in life and provide a loving, nurturing home for them,” she continued.  Chris agrees.  Dorothy and Chris have a very good relationship.  Dorothy took Chris in with open arms despite the foster care file that preceded his arrival.  Chris has stated and Dorothy believes wholeheartedly that there were reports in his file that were untrue.   The pair was only able to discover the untruths through open communication.  They have bonded, respect each other, and even completed each other’s sentences during our interview.

Chris – Being A Foster Child Gave Me Opportunity

Chris Nixon has resided in the home of Dorothy Cordero for the past six years. They were referred to me through KidsPeace, a private charity dedicated to serving the behavioral and mental health needs of children, families and communities. I interviewed them together for The Teen Toolbox National Foster Care Awareness blog series on teen males in the foster care system. Because both of Chris and Dorothy had such great insight and were hopeful their story would help other families, I will share their stories separately.

Chris will age out of foster care when he turns 21 years old this June. He decided to remain in care after age 18 so that he could receive continued support while working and attending college. As I was sharing my purpose for dedicating our May blogs to teen males (and possibly preparing to share statistics) Chris unexpectedly shared with me that “youth who exit the system at age 18 are at higher risk of ending up homeless, in jail, or much worse.” Obviously, Chris is very driven and did not come to the decision to remain in care without careful consideration. He believes that choosing to stay in foster care instead of exiting the system at 18 allows youth extra time to achieve the goals that they otherwise might not be able to achieve.

Ronald – Foster Care Teen, Advocate, and Volunteer

May is National Foster Care Awareness and The Teen Toolbox will dedicate our blog as a platform for teen males in the foster care system to share their stories of triumph and success.

Ronald Hennig is focused, motivated, and wise beyond his years.  He is a soon to-be 18 year old male in the United States foster care system in the state of New Jersey.  Ronald is a strong advocate for older youth in the system.  He is especially passionate about raising awareness about the challenges that teen males in the foster care system face.  In fact, Ronald agreed to be featured on The Teen Toolbox blog because he believes that teen males in foster care are an especially neglected population.  I agree.

Reading Means The World Is Your Classroom

You may have read my last blog about empowering youth to take calculated risks.  One way to improve critical thinking skills and to encourage calculated risk taking is through reading regularly.

Reading is preparation for the future.  We cannot put a price tag on the value of a quality education.  No child can be properly education without becoming a good reader.   Poor reading skills usually results in low grades and may lead to low self esteem.  Reading opens up new worlds and new possibilities.  A book allows youth to escape their current situation and imagine a brighter tomorrow.  Youth become more aware of their worlds and their potential simply by reading.

Many youth in the foster care system are struggling academically whether because of interruptions in the education caused by displacement, unidentified learning disabilities, psychological issues, or not receiving the support and attention they need to progress.  It is never too late to improve reading skills, however.  The number one way to encourage the youth in your life to read is to lead by example – let them see you read.  I also encourage you to read with teens (they may protest at first but usually come around). Another way to improve reading skills is to play games that require reading.  Writing is also essential.  Journaling or creating original commercials, plays, poetry or songs are also recommended.