Together We Can Tackle Teen Dating Violence

In 2009, I spent weeks talking to my girls group about teen dating violence when Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna.  A couple weeks ago a teen mother in Prince George’s County was killed by the father of her child who then took his own life.  Last week, I dialogued with adults about the “Chris Brown can beat me anytime” social media responses after Chris’ Grammy Award wins.  On yesterday Drake tweeted “A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn’t get jealous when someone has your attention, it’s because someone has hers.” There is not enough time today to give my commentary on any of these and dozens of other encounters and conversations I’ve had around teen dating violence.  Today I am just getting to the facts.

Teen dating is physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship which includes stalking. It can occur in person or electronically (social media and texting) and may occur between a current or former dating partner. Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines.

Parents: Give The Gift of Music

I love music and so does my daughter.  Although neither of us is a gifted singer or musician, we have always shared our love of music with each other.  Music is a universal language. “Mommy and Me” classes that encourage parents to bond with their young children through singing and dancing have increased in popularity in recent years.  Whether it played on the radio on their first date or they selected it to commemorate their first dance at their wedding, all of us know couples who have a special song.  One of the most memorable episodes of ‘The Cosby Show” was when Rudy led the family in a musical performance for the Huxtable grandparents’ anniversary.  Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve heard about rapper Jay-Z’s musical tribute to his daughter Blue Ivy.  The song “Glory” may be the most popular celebrity song at the moment but Jay-Z is not the first artist to create a song for their child.  Lauryn Hill created the song “Zion” for her first born.  Will Smith dedicated the song “Just The Two Of Us” to his son.  K-Ci and Jo Jo’s hit “All My Life” was penned for Jo Jo’s daughter.  The song that most celebrates my love for my daughter is “For You I Will” by Monica from the Space Jam soundtrack.

Give To Youth In Foster Care This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is usually a holiday that you love or hate.  Remember kindergarten when everyone in class received Valentine’s Day cards and gifts?  I received Valentine’s Day gifts from my mother into young adulthood.  I have done the same for my daughter (her Valentine’s Day packaged arrived at her dorm last week).  For me Valentine’s Day is a day to say I love you in a special way.   For many unhappily single people it is an unwelcomed reminder from a society that portrays one as incomplete if they aren’t involved in a romantic relationship that they are alone.

Will Your Youth Commemorate Black History Month?

Over the last few years, I’ve heard many arguments about whether there is still a need for Black History Month.  The other argument is whether Black History Month creates separatism instead of ethnic pride.  We don’t need Black History Month when have a Black family in the White House right?  I disagree.  I am of the opinion that until the diverse stories of African Americans are interwoven into the fabric of our lives and integrated seamlessly into our school curriculums Black History Month is absolutely relevant.  For African American youth in the foster care system who may not have strong family ties or may not know their family at all, learning about the contributions made by people of the same race can be empowering.  I dare say it can help them form a sense of identity and self-worth.

Foster Teens: Handle With Care

Resilient – rebounding; recovering readily from adversity; returning to its original form after being stretched or bent

Do you recall your teen years with favor and joy?  For many of us adolescence was a challenging time.  Acne, raging hormones, peer pressure, and uncertainty plagued many of us.  Although we may have had the body of an adult, our teen brains had not fully developed.  Our views were shaped by other teens that were just as unsure of where they fit in the world as we were.  We were stuck in an unfamiliar place — no longer children but not yet adults.

Stability and positive discipline help teens thrive. Rules and boundaries offer safety and security.  Rules and boundaries also show teens that someone cares about their present and their future.  The obstacles in adolescence are often magnified for youth who are a part of the foster care system.  Think about it.  Who do you trust when you are unsure of how long you will live in the place where you are right now?  Who can exhibit patience and understanding to help you overcome abuse, abandonment, or apathy?  Who do you believe really “has your back” when you have lived in 3 different places in the last year and a half?

A Teen’s Life Is Worth Documenting

What does “A Teen’s Life Is Worth Documenting” mean to you?

For a child in the foster care system it probably means those words that are written about them in their personal file.  You know the file that precedes them at every meeting, placement, and court hearing.  The file that attempts to explain the reason they entered foster care, the length of time in the system, the changes in schools, the number of foster placements, health concerns, and any mental health screenings and diagnoses. The file containing this documentation is extremely important right? Essential even?!

I’m not speaking of the file that documents the thoughts and judgments of countless social workers, lawyers, doctors, and educators and barely contains the views of the youth in foster care. The accomplishments, aspirations, and support systems in a teen’s life are worth documenting.  Every teen is unique and full of promise and potential.  My teens document their lives in a professional portfolio — a visual tool that gives employers, recruiters, scouts, and mentors a complete picture of who you are.  I believe that a professional portfolio can be an integral element not only in building skills and confidence in youth but also in helping them develop and maintain crucial personal and professional connections.

Passion, Compassion, and Integrity

I posted a status on my social media accounts a few days ago that read, “A degree can’t produce passion, compassion, and integrity.” I received quite a few “Likes”, retweets, and interesting comments.  The responses I received made me really think about what that statement means to me and led me to write this blog post.

Let me begin by saying that I am one hundred percent pro education.  Education encourages research and critical thinking and opens doors of opportunity.  I have a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and a Master’s degree in Social Work to support my theories.  At the end of 2011 I came to the firm conclusion that The Teen Toolbox work will focus on improving the quality of life for youth involved in the foster care and child welfare system.  Actually, foster care is not really a new path or target population for me.  In fact, participation in a holiday drive for a residential facility for teen mothers in foster care during my senior year in high school is what helped solidify my career choice. The other option on the table was education. Yep, I was considering becoming a teacher. (Didn’t I tell you that I am pro education?)  My passion for helping others, compassionate personality, and personal integrity led me to pursue higher education and more specifically the field of social work.